Men & Christmas Shopping ~~ Let's Go Easy On Them, Ladies!
Posted: Tuesday, December 11, 2007
by Camille Strate
JoyZAChoice
I read a news article yesterday that stated men, as a general rule (of course there are always exceptions to the rule!) when shopping, feel the same amount of stress as a police officer during a riot. That's pretty serious stress! Most men (again, just a general statement...no offense to those men who DO enjoy shopping!) are about as happy shopping as women are changing a tire in the pouring rain on the side of the interstate at rush hour. This is NOT a happy task!
Let's give them a break, ladies! If they prefer to shop online or by mail order or have their secretary do it for them, what's the harm in that? If they give any thought to gifts they're buying for you, what difference does it make HOW they buy them? I mean, if you had to choose shopping or policing a riot, what do you think you'd choose?
One of the reasons I thought it might be helpful to offer these thoughts is because I happen to be one of the 'lucky ones'. The last 3 relationships I had were with men who really did LOVE to shop. I know. It's weird. But they really did enjoy it. In fact, my last boyfriend used to bug me to go shopping on weekends. I'm not all that crazy about shopping, to tell you the truth. I'd rather buy everything online, have it sent to my house and then have a wrapping party (I do love the wrapping part), undisturbed by traffic, crowds and mean people who have no Christmas spirit whatsoever! But I digress....the reason I thought I'd offer these thoughts is so that , perhaps, you can both enjoy the holidays without getting on each others' nerves. If you'll just leave him be, he'll get it done. And it might even help if you wrote "Santa" a letter!
I used to do this for my first husband, who did like to shop but never knew what to get. He'd start asking in August! And, of course, he'd wait til the last minute because he'd get all stressed out, not knowing what to get. So, I started writing Santa a letter. Even mailed it to him. He thought that was great! And we enjoyed quite a few lovely Christmases after that. (The divorce thing isn't important. Let's just say that we realized we weren't suited for "til death do us part". It was a happy ending after all!) Anyway, all I'm saying is, if your man doesn't enjoy the shopping part, give him a hand or just allow him to be who he is and do it his way. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It just means he'd rather share good feelings with you than go shopping. And if that article I read had even a stitch of truth to it (I believe so!), I'd prefer my man be happy about the holidays. If he wants to shop online, I'm going to bring him a cocktail (or a beer or whatever he likes) and some snacks while he's doing it! I want him happy. And I'll do whatever it takes (well, almost...I do have my limits!).
So, to all you ladies out there with a man who loves them, next time you see him, plant a big ol' kiss on him and let him know you love him JUST AS HE IS. Take the pressure of perfection off him and be happy he's in your life. He'll appreciate that (and he might even brave the mall just because you laid off the nagging!) That's just how some men are wired, ya know?
Happiest Holidays to You ALL!
Camille Olivia Strate is an author, empowerment coach and critter keeper in search of the perfect pasture. Among her many passions is assisting people in returning to their 'true selves' by way of empowerment coaching. She believes strongly in 'paying it forward' and lives by 'do what you love and the money will follow'. Her latest book, "Whispers" is now available in eBook format. Hardcopy to follow soon! Visit her personal site at http://www.joyzachoice.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Camille, that's great advice and, in my book, it doesn't just apply to shopping. I don't much like shopping and my husband has less patience for it than I do, but it all works out anyway.
While Camile you have hit the nail on he head when it comes to us men and shopping. You see though years of experience I have found that when woman say I'll be right back I only need one thing that is anywhere from a 1/2 to an hour or longer and never more then one thing. We also hear, wait, while I'm here, etc. Now us men usually go to the store for what we want, buy it and go, or leave any delays is frustrating, come back later. Now I am happily married for 33 years and have not gone shopping and not find what I said any different in all those years. In fact my wifes hates going shoppoing with me, I rush her. Now as for shopping for my wife here is a hint for the men. Find a lady about the same stature, explain why you want to ask them about sizing, they love to help. Think not try it. God forbid woman only had small, medium or large sizes, rather then peteite, small, misses, juniors, woman or medium, top x, y bottom, if pants z, etc and a host of other sizes. Yes, ladies please go easy on us 36 x 29 trousers, 16 x 33 shirt, base colors and you are done. Now was that simple? Anyway I hope you took this in good nature. Best wishes. RTM
hi camille, great advice, with a funny tone. i say, thank God for the internet. it's even good with kids who want computer parts or musical parts, things you don't see in the mall. it makes it much simpler. my son wanted a plug in for his microphone, and we live in the country, so online my partner went, and it's in transit as we speak. thanks for a cheery article, best regards, sue thom
Camille, Shopping being the end all and the cure all this time of year, this is good advice. Just hope we don't beat each other up too much, not at the mall, of course, but in trying to out shop one another. Jeff
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