Addressing Anger: Is It Ever Okay To Let It Rip?
Posted: Friday, March 06, 2009
by Camille Strate
JoyZAChoice
I'm all for growth. Be it spiritual, mental, emotional, whatever. I believe we're here to grow, in every way possible, so that we can expand...ourselves AND the world. I also realize that often, no matter what kind of growth we may be engaged in, there are going to be times when you just don't want to. Like a child about to have a tantrum, you stand with your lips pouted and your brow pursed, stomping you foot and shouting a big, fat "NO!".
Case in point: not too long ago, I had to ask for some help. I'm a proud little imp, raised by the best of the proud. My proud Italian daddy was proud enough for 100 men...and it killed him. So I know about proud. Not the good kind, mind you. The kind of proud that blinds you to your humanity. Near as I can tell, that kind of proud is just plain useless. But...lest I digress...
I had to ask for help. Much as I didn't want to, I was in a place where it was just what needed to be done. So, I had a little 'chat' with my ego and told it to take a hike. Now is not the time to be messin' with me, so GIT! As I made my way through this process, I did a lot of talking to my now-dead daddy. Mostly, I teased him for teaching me so well. I don't blame him for who I am. I surely don't blame him for the lessons I must learn. He was a good dad and he did the very best he could. This was MY lesson, and I was going to walk through it as gracefully as possible. I was going to trust that once I'd faced this particular little demon, I'd be grateful for the lessons it brought. I made up my mind that gratitude was going to accompany me as I walked through this lesson.
So, like any 'evolving' Being, I asked. I asked with truth and humility. I asked with the knowledge that if you don't ask, you don't get whatever it is you happen to be needing or wanting. As daddy used to say, "don't ask, don't get". I took the time to really think about what I was asking for, examining my heart to be sure I was asking for the right reasons. Once I'd done that, I made my request with gratitude for the help I knew I'd get, even if I don't know from whom or where it would come.
Then...I get this message from someone who apparently has the brain of a Neanderthal. His words were brief (and his spelling atrocious) and he basically told me to 'stop begging'. Well. Let me tell you. Gracious, evolved, spiritual being or not....enough was enough.
I took my time about it. I didn't respond right away. In fact, I ALMOST just let it go. 'Almost' being the operative here. And then...then I thought, "you know what? this is bullcrap. What the hell happened to your spine, little missy? Have you completely lost your mind?"
Maybe I have. Maybe the asking pushed me over an edge I hadn't realized I was standing on. Or. Maybe, just maybe, it was time for me to stand up. To speak my truth, even if it was an ugly truth. To tell the moron to get a life and while he was at it, learn how to spell. Stop begging???? If I were in your shoes, I'd be begging for someone to please teach me how to be a human being. Moron!
The moment I sent that message, I let out a big ol' giggle. Oh yea. My mentor wouldn't like it. And if I were being really 'evolved', I'm pretty sure my "higher self" wouldn't have done it. But you know what? I did it anyway. Know what else? IT FELT GOOD. It felt good to stop being so 'nice' and understanding and compassionate. It felt good to let loose on the Neanderthal. Besides, I wasn't nearly as scathing as I know how to be. I DO know how to be scathing...I mostly just choose not to be (most of the time, that is.)
And now? Well, now I'm letting it go. I'm taking it for what it was...and allowing myself to be the human that I am. I'm also writing about it, so I can let me own self know that it's okay to have a tantrum every now and then.
Why? Because I think it's important to be human. Yea. I know. That sounds pretty silly. But you know, sometimes we hold ourselves just a little too tight. Sometimes, it is precisely our humanity that makes the lesson so valuable. More often than not, even when we do such things, we beat ourselves up for it for the next god-knows-how-long. I don't think it's worth all that beating up. I think we should just give ourselves a little pat on the back for actually dealing with the crap...and then let it go. Because, after all, aren't we here to grow?
{A sense of humor is an absolute essential in times like these. Sometimes, ya just gotta lighten up, ya know? And...sometimes, even the Neanderthal can learn something from our transgressions...but I'm not counting on that.}
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Hi Camille.You've written another wonderful article! Thanks so much for sharing this.Hugs,Dianne
Camille,Excellent post. Your closing paragraph says more than a mouthful. Keep your wonderful sense of humor, it is the best medicine.John
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