What's Income Got To Do With It?
Posted: Monday, July 05, 2010
by Camille Strate
JoyZAChoice
I once read that compliments are a form of income. At the time I thought that was such an odd thing to say. A form of income? It didn't take long, however, for me to see what that person was trying to tell me. Cuz if you think about it...the word "income" is, by definition:
' something that comes in as an addition or increase'
This whole thing came up recently (again) when I overheard someone pay someone else a compliment. The conversation went something like this:
"Wow! You look fantastic! What a beautiful dress!"
"Oh this old thing? I got it from a thrift store for $3. It's someone else's rag."
"I don't care where you got it or what you paid. You look lovely tonight."
"Well, I'm just trying to make do with what I have."
"Whatever you're doing, it's shining through. You must have some really good stuff going on in your life right now because you're glowing."
"It's all the make-up I caked on my face."
You get the general idea. No matter what the one person said, the other was deflecting all those compliments like they were gnats on a hot summer day. She just couldn't get that someone was PAYING HER high due. She was utterly unable to hear and accept those gifts. It got me to thinking about that little thing about compliments being a form of income. The more I listened to this exchange, the more I could see exactly what it meant.
So I started really paying attention. Not just to what people were saying to me, but how they reacted when I paid them a compliment. It really surprised me to find just how many people simply could not accept them. 9 out of 10 times, when I gave the compliment (which was, by the way, both sincere and genuine), they would come up with some kind of deflection. Rather than just accepting the compliment and saying "thank you", they were immediately uncomfortable and tried to blow it off.
Which led me to my next finding:
More often than not, those who couldn't accept the compliment were the very same people who were struggling financially. They all had the same 'story'. And they all had some kind of relationship issues going on too. Troubles with their mates or their kids or their boss. Hassles with neighbors or family members. All the usual ickiness that comes from a "less-than" perspective. Know what I mean?
So I decided it was time to look at that word again. What exactly does 'income' have to do with the rest of my life? Beyond the money part, where else does income come from?
It boils down to this:
Any time anyone offers you anything, whether it be a compliment, an invitation to dinner, a gift card or a bundle of cash...all those things are income. When we decline to accept...in the form of deflection or simply "no thanks", we are, in essence, telling the Universe that we 'have enough'. We don't need whatever it is being offered. We're just 'fine' the way things are. Because whether we're talking about money or food or kind words, it's all the same thing:
ENERGY.
Money is energy. Food is energy. Words are energy. When we say "no thanks" we're saying no to more energy, regardless of its form.
How's that again?
Really? Do you really have "enough" of all you want? Do you really NOT need anything else? Are you certain that you'll be satisfied with what you have right now for the rest of your time here on Planet Earth? I"m not trying to encourage greed. I'm talking about living a life of abundance, in all ways. Money is what we usually relate abundance to. But money is only one form of energy. What about all the rest? Like love. And fun. And joyful experiences. These are forms of abundance too, aren't they?
It doesn't take much to pay someone a compliment. Same goes for accepting them. It's really pretty easy to do, once we get out of our own way. Every time you pay someone a compliment you're giving them 'more'. Even if they're unable to accept it at the moment, you have added to their energy bank as well as your own. You could be down to your last penny and still "pay" someone a compliment. And you just never know how much that might change their world. Even if you don't see it. So don't hold back. And the next time someone pays YOU one...accept it graciously. All that's required is a simple "thank you"...and an opening of the heart to let it in.
Watch and see how different you'll feel.
Cool stuff.
This Article has been viewed 538 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)I've had to work very hard to learn to say yes please, and thank you - and furthermore, to even actively ask for what I need - and yes, I know what that says about me!! Enjoyed your article, Camille, thanks.
Thanks for sharing. For me-- We live in a very materialistic society, and are constantly bombarded with advertisements telling us that to be in happiness, we must have money and big income. But many rich are mental case. Happiness Psychology says that happiness is linked to your state of mind and not what you have money and income.
Camille,Well said and thought provoking.I can almost visualize a mathematical equation depicting your thesis-possibly expanded.Thoughts: a compliment always registers below the surface and its effect lasts a very long time, even if it is not immediately apparent. Perhaps being coy in response to something well said is an acceptable more of our culture.The other part of the equation might be that the one paying the complement is rewarded also.
Hi Camille.What a great way of looking at it! Very perceptive. But then that's how you are ... brilliant. And maybe this is one of the things that is so great about SW. We get to give compliments to our writer friends. And no matter how graciously they are accepted or not :) it feels good to give a compliment.The notion about telling the universe that you already have enough is also intriguing. I'll have to pay attention to all the places that I say "no thank you." Thanks for a wonderful article.Hugs,DianneBravo! So happy to have given an alternate perspective for you, Dianne. Yes! "pay attention"! You'll probably be surprised just how often you find yourself "deflecting" compliments. I sure was (surprised, that is).
Amazing article!!! You simultaneously fulfilled both sides of the spectrum - giving and recieving a compliment. I admired your writing style, technique, and use of words. I gave this a high 5.Well thank you so much, James! I do love those High 5s! Glad to have your "attention". Happy Friday, Sir.
Nicely stated. Many don't accept compliments well for the simple reason they tend to question the motive(s) of the person doing the complimenting. To use the 'income' analogy, if a perfect stranger walked up to another perfect stranger and offered a $20 bill with no strings attached, what are the chances the person would take the money?Having said that, you are right that a genuine compliment is energy, and the transfer of that energy is harmonious for everyone involved. And yes, a simple 'thank you' does wonders . . .
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.