The War Against Toxins: It's More Than the Food We Eat
Posted: Wednesday, September 01, 2010
by Camille Strate
JoyZAChoice
Anyone who is remotely health conscious is well aware of the ongoing talk of 'toxins'. Many of us do our very best to rid our environments of said toxins, from buying 'organic' to carrying those ridiculous hand sanitizers around and wiping EVERYTHING we touch. Sadly, in my estimation (and many 'scientific' estimations as well), our germophobia is making things far worse. We're literally killing our immune systems. Kind of like the whole cockroach thing. (Stay with me here.). Chemists keep coming up with stronger and stronger chemicals to kill those little suckers; but it makes no difference. They keep building stronger tolerances and getting bigger and bigger. (Have you ever been to Florida? Those buggers are big enough to walk on a leash. I kid you NOT.) In any case, the point here is that we are a culture obsessed with toxins.
As I am quite fond of languages, I am also quite fond of offering definitions. I like to know the origins and how we have, in our subjectivity, warped the meanings of words. Having said that (my apologies to those of you who are already familiar with my M.O. I offer this up to my 'new' readers. 'Nuff said.), I must first offer the definition, according to Merriam Webster:
TOXIC: [Lat. toxicum; poison]; 1. of or relating to a toxin. 2. Harmful, destructive, or deadly.
In short, POISON.
So here we are, all armed and ready to kill any little germ that might try to sneak up on us. We go to the grocery store and they have a dispenser right next to the carts so we can wipe the handles before we put your hands on them. I've even seen stores that have paper covers for the Tot Carriers. Like those toilet seat covers, only for the kid-carriers. Everywhere I look people are wiping and spraying and hovering over their kids, trying to ward off every germ known to man...and then some.
You get the point.
We're freaking out over toxins.
But what about toxic 'others'? Like toxic relationships? Or toxic jobs? I'm not talking about working with asbestos or working in coal mines (god bless 'em all!). I'm talking about jobs that are so toxic that they make us sick from the stress and over-work and horrible conditions; like nasty co-workers or ridiculously long hours. Regardless of the 'others' definition, the bottom line is that toxins are far more than just the air we breathe and the food we eat. And it makes me wonder how many people include these toxins in their 'war against'.
What is a toxic relationship? Have you ever thought about it?
Toxic Relationships.
I'm guessing most folks have them even if they're not aware they do. They're more abundant than cockroaches. And, sadly, more easily hidden. Because most people don't look at their relationships this way. In fact, from all the studies I've done, I'd venture to say that more often than not, it is familial relationships that are the most toxic. If not familial, then certainly those 'long-time' friendships.
Scenario #1:
You've been friends for more than 10 years. She's been there for you. You've been there for her. Mostly. Then, after a while, you begin to notice that she never calls you back when you most need her to. You leave messages, asking for her to phone because “I just need to hear your voice." Then, more messages. And then...after weeks of messages, you finally get a call and she says, “Oh. Sorry. I've been so busy." And then she launches into an hour's worth of her woes. With nary a nod to why you called in the first place.
Scenario #2:
She's got a boyfriend/man/lover/husband. Now that she does, her calls are, at best, 3 times a year. THEN...the man goes away. Now...suddenly, she's calling every single day. She NEEDS to talk to you. She NEEDS support. She NEEDS YOU.
Scenario #3:
She was a Mega-Star. Made tons of money. Had the world by the balls. Had more money than God. And then...it all goes away. While she was said Mega-Star, you MAYBE heard from her once a year. And now? It's a daily thing.
Hmmmm.
Now. Please let me clarify for a moment. There is nothing wrong with being an 'all-weather' friend. In fact, I find the 'fair-weather' friendships as hollow as a 400 year old fallen tree. BUT. There is a vast difference between being an all-weather friend and a sucker. How come these 'friends' only call when their crap is hitting the fan? Why is it that when I call YOU you're 'too busy'? Why is it that your crap is more important than mine? Why is it that the only time you call is when your world is falling apart, yet when I need a voice or a moment or even just a giggle, you are 'TOO BUSY'?
The short of all this is that if there is anyone in your world who leaves you feeling worse after the call/visit/reunion/whatever, than you did before all that...it is a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. It's hurting you. It makes you feel like crap. It makes you question who you are and how you operate.
TOXIC.
Anything that leaves you feeling 'less than' is TOXIC. And I don't give a rip if they're 'blood' or life-long friends. There comes a time when one must face their truth. Truths may not always be pleasant. But, from where I sit, they are as non-toxic as eating fresh tomatoes out of your own organic garden.
Don't ever try to outsmart your common sense.
That is...if you happen to have any.
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Hi, Camille, I loved your article. I agree about the germophobia, and oh, I've had those toxic relationships you describe so perfectly, including familial. Horrible. I had to learn to claim strokes and attention - and to walk away from the people who didn't really give a damn about me but wanted me to give a damn about them. It was painful and difficult, though.Thanks for the read, Jennifer. By the way...what's MORE painful? Staying in those relationships or walking away? I'm going with the latter...and, for what it's worth, I've found that when I walk away and keep my love (for them) in my heart, it isn't nearly as painful. Just my "2 cents".
Wonderful article with a LOT of insight. Thanks for writing this. Loved the last line. LOLYou know, one of the most beautiful things about writing is that it always brings me back to my sense of humor. When I began this piece I was SUPER @#$@#&*ed. By the end, I was laughing again. Hence that last line. Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.Hugs~Writing can do so many good things for the writer, can't it? Among other things, I always feel it 'expands' me.
Great article! I can relate to much of what you said. I have had a toxic job... I have had toxic friends... I have had friends obsessed with 'organic' and being a complete germophobe. I have always been annoyed with the "Sorry, just been busy" excuse which is one of the most lame things to say to someone. These days it takes 10 seconds to send a text, to tweet, to call, to email, to do something that shows active communication and when people can't even do that they might as well be giving you the finger! I mean, right? Ugh. Value your friends and family that care about people other than themselves. Indeed. Thanks Camille!Thanks, Brombergs. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.
Excellent my friend. Been there, done all that. Couldn't agree more. Well, guess I could, but I won't. hehe Have a great day.Right back atcha, David. Thanks to YOU for reading and sending the note. Have a great weekend!
Very informative and an amazing article.Many thanks, Chiradeep. Glad to have your readership. Happy weekend!
Hi Camille.I had a relationship, long-time relationship, that pretty much fit all of those scenarios. If I'd had any sense, I would have seen it many, many years before I finally did. But I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes and a bit stubborn too. Finally got out of it a couple of years ago. And while it was very hard to leave at the time, I've been so much happier and healthier since. Left a toxic job too at about the same time. WOW. That was a whole load of Change. I don't always handle Change well.And as you may already be aware, I totally agree with you about the germ thing as well.This is a great "wake up" call for some and an excellent reminder for me.Hugs,DianneThanks, Dianne. As always, it's a pleasure to hear from you. And by the way, BRAVO on your own realizations. It doesn't matter "how long" it takes to see; what matters is that you DO.Hugs~
Enjoyed your topic and insights! Thanks for sharing this one with your readers.Thank you so much, Marijo. It's always good to know my words are affecting.Many hugs to you and yours~
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